Up and down, front to back

It has been a topsy turvy week. Nothing seemed right in the beginning but in the end it turned up to be quite well handled. Let me start from the beginning...

1. Farewell dear one..

Subconciously I packed all my things the morning before I will board my bus to Seremban. I hate the atmosphere that day. It seemed so cold, so silent. I had been wandering about the house without anything to do except watching television. It had always been like this whenever it's time for me to come back to Seremban. As I packed I pondered - all the things that had happened the previous week. When the news came, my happy mood seemed to had flushed down the toilet. I felt like I don't want to talk to anybody. But eventhough I made the mistake that I had done, my parents still care for my wellbeing. They made sure that I had enough things to be brought back to Seremban with me - food, clothing, money. I reasoned to my self again and again. What's done is done. Make sure that in the future, you can make them happy.

After the Maghrib prayer, I rechecked that I had packed everything and prepared myself for the bus trip to Seremban. As I looked into the mirror, I noticed the clothes that I was wearing and compared it to the ones that I had worn before when I need to come back to Seremban. Brown. My attire will always have a hint of brown. Is this my farewell gesture - to the loved ones that I will miss? Probably.

We talked little when waiting for the bus to take me to Seremban arrive. But the words that came out from my parents' mouths are precious pearls and gems - treasures that I need to keep that if I lost those treasures, I will be lost in the sea called life. I kept them in my heart - for the treasures are not ordinary treasures, they are given to me with love.

The bus arrived. I quickly salam and hugged my dad, my mum and my little sister. I held back my words that I had been constructing in my head - for if those words were said, my tears will fall. Before the bus departed I took my seat, inhaled deep breaths as tears fall slowly from my closed eyes. I dozed off as the bus drove off.

2. The weather is too, understanding.

It seemed like a normal class session. The teacher came in and we all greeted her then recited the doa. It was normal, until the teacher turned her back from us. I could see that she was wiping the tears the fell from her eyes. Tears started to well in my eyes. I felt down. Thoughts came into my mind - will she be okay? - she must be disappointed in us - what should we say? - what should we do? - what should I do?

The circle of friends - and teacher - was formed. It was silent for the first few minutes as all of us waited for the teacher to calm down. While in that moment, the well of tear in my eyes can no longer withstand - and tears came rolling down my cheeks one by one. Most of the girls could be seen holding a tissue - preparing themselves for the upcoming emotional breakdown. As for me, I was holding my handkerchief.

The teacher started to explain the situation - everything she said seemed to stab my heart - that made my small roll of tears became a stream. It got worse when she called out my name - I can sense in her voice a little disappointment, loss of hope. That made the stream turned into a waterfall.

Long story short, we all didn't know where and when we went wrong. As I said - the weather is too, understanding - as it was raining outside on that day - on that particular time.

I know that this is a long entry as it has been a while since I posted. Just wanted to share what I had gone through. In the end, my days were bright and sunny as I accepted that we can't be always looking at the past when the future awaits us. Just have the strongest faith in Allah and his plans for you - because he knows what is the best. Always line up your days with doa, and start it of with a good intention.

Sincerely,
Fatin Nizam

Eid Ul-Fitr 2013!

The time has come again! It's already Eid Ul-Fitr after 1 month of fasting. Though it is a merry sight to celebrate Eid, it is sad to leave Ramadan behind us, pondering whether or not we will meet again with this holy month next year. In Sha Allah.

There are some events that are quite saddening that had happened today. One of my cats - Ciko - had passed away this evening. He did not have the chance to see the fajr of Eid this year as the past years he had done. Other than that, hope he is now in heavens! :)

Another event that had happened is that the fish that my mother cooked for our break fast had been eaten by our mischevious cats! Well, the fish was not meant for us I suppose. Now they are lying around the house - belly full because of the fish that they had 'caught' from the kitchen table. T_T

Since tomorrow is Eid, I want to take this oppurtunity to wish to all muslims around the world Happy Eid Ul-Fitr, may this celebration is the best among all as we celebrate after one month of fasting. :)

Sincerely,
Fatin Nizam

Home Sweet Home :)

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, I safely arrived at my house yesterday for the Eid Holiday. Thank you Ya Allah for letting me have another chance to celebrate this Eid with my family - In Sha Allah. Without us noticing this, Ramadhan is almost over. Saddening isn't it? Reflecting back on this Ramadhan, I wondered if I have collected enough good deeds? Seems not like it. I might have not grabbed the ultra-special offer in this month. If i am given another chance, hope to see Ramadhan next year.

Compiling everything that I had done for the past few days, I went back to Johore! I know that I have told this in my previous entry but  noticed in the previous one, I didn't talk about my newest cousin, Aufa Irdina! Only two months old but she seemed to have wrapped everyone around her little fingers. She is too cute to be true! I managed to sneak some pictures of her.

The little sleeping beauty.....

A few days before this, the second year of my batch - girls only - held iftar jamie' at the futsal court. It is seriously memorable as we get to eat together. This seriously strengthens the bond between me and my classmates.

Yummy!

I think that this will be all for my entry today. Hope all of you have a good time with your family. :)

Sincerely,

Fatin Nizam

'Balik Kampung!'

This weekend I had the chance to come back to my grandparents house in Batu Pahat, Johore. Alhamdulillah. Got the chance to meet them before going back to Kelantan next week for Eid holiday since this year I will not be celebrating my Eid in Johore. At least I got the chance to experience some of the fasting month with my family in Johore.

Thinking back about this fasting month, it really flew by very quick. Today is already the 18th day of Ramadhan. And then Eid came. It feels like I didn't do much during this fasting month. But then as they say, you have to work hard to get what you want. There is no easy route to anything in this world. Thus, I need to work hard to Istiqamah in my ibadah, not only for this month. Hope to continue this till the end of my life. In Sha Allah.

Sincerely
Fatin Nizam

The Time Comes Again!!!

It's already Ramadhan!! 2nd Ramadhan to be exact. And I am seriously excited. Well who wouldn't be?

First and foremost I should say Alhamdulillah, Praise to Allah the Almighty that he gave me yet another chance to experience Ramadhan this year in my college with all my friends and teachers. Praise to Him that I am still alive and breathing till this day with my family and friends by my side. Praise to Him that I still get to keep my health to yet experience another Ramadhan and to devote myself to Him.

Now there is always a trend forming during Ramadhan and not during the other 11 months of the year. More people are reciting the Quran and are dedicated to finish all the 30 juz. But just how dedicated are we to finish the 30 jux in the other months of the year? More people are performing the sunnah prayers and are willing to wake up to perform tahajjud in search of the lailatul qadar. But just how devoted are we to do the same if it is nor during Ramadhan? During Ramadhan the saf in the mosque will be filled with people espacially during the tarawih prayer. But do we do that the whole year round?

I am not looking at other people's doing here. I'm looking at myself and reflecting it as I go. Istiqamah is very important when you claim that you are devoted to Him. But if we are just doing all of this thing during the month of Ramadhan, where is the istiqamah in that?

Thus here I am reflecting myself. Don't just stop the good deeds in Ramadhan. Continue it the whole year round. In Sha Allah your iman can increase and the level of taqwa to Allah will too increase.

Thus, may you increase your good deeds in Ramadhan and continue it even when Ramadhan is already over.

Sincerely,
Fatin Nizam

Home Sweet Home!

Am now at home!!!!! Second day already. Why the late update? Because I was too tired to update just as I arrived home. Over 12 hours on the bus really drained my energy out. I didn't do anything yesterday but watched the TV. It was a very unproductive day yesterday.

But first and foremost, Alhamdulillah, Praise to Allah that I arrived home safely eventhough it took over 12 hours to arrive here. It was very tiring. I slept the whole way through on the bus - woken up a few times because it was too cold, or due to my aching neck.

Now I am at home, I need to make it a productive week before the session starts.

GANBATE Fatin-chan!

Sincerely,
Fatin Nizam

Konniciwa!

Today is such an exciting day. I got to try my hands in making sushi!!!! Sensei had promised us sushi for the past 2 weeks but he got the chance to show us today. And to think that i didn't even like sushi before. I know that my perspective has changed. Now I really am loving it! It is great that Sensei taught us not only the Nihongo (Japanese language) but also the cultures. He said that to learn the language, we must love the culture - thus it is easier for us to actually speak the language. I really appreciate his method of teaching.

My Sushi

Sensei's Sushi

See the difference between our sushi??

And since it is hard for me to cut the sushi into perfect circular shape just like the ones sold in the shops, I just eat them like that - plus it is easier to consume.

Half eaten sushi - saved for supper - and now is in my tummy... Yum Yum..

Alhamdulillah, Praise to Allah that I got the chance to have this kind of experience in my life. Never did I know that I will be learning Japanese language and cultures - plus making sushi! There is one quote from Sensei that stuck in my head to this day - eventhough he said it in his first class.

"You are lucky to be learning another language that is foreign to you. When you are an expert in this language, you can easily conduct your da'wah - just like what I did during my time at Japan"

When I think back, what he said was true. Not only that we can equip ourselves with new knowledge of language for easy conversation, we can also expand the da'wah - especially in countries where they speak little English. Thus, I am thankful.

Sincerely
Fatin Nizam

Historical!

Today is a historical day (apart from being the day where the SPM result is announced), to my surprise, Midnight (which was aptly named by me and Nurul because of the jet-black fur) - the fellow/warden's cat - gave birth this morning to a cute litter of kittens which all looked alike. I didn't have the chance to really count how many kittens were there as I was busy myself this morning. Plus the kittens were covered with blood. I don't have the guts to touch them.

But all in all the kittens looked healthy and fine. I just hope that Midnight can be a good mother cat because this is her first time giving birth. :) Not like my cat which all her kitten died because she didn't have the experience of having a litter of kittens.

Sincerely
Fatin Nizam

2 in 1

Since I haven't been updating my sweet blog recently, I will put two stories in here. Well, 2 in 1..

1:-

Last night at my college an event was held - Malam Suara Al-Aqsa (Voice of Al-Aqsa Night). Invited Aqsa Syarif who had helped a lot for the upbringing of Palestine. Also invited a few members of GKLN and apparently, Fara Fauzana came. I didn't have the time to take her pictures though - being the AJK I was a very busy person last night. Tired as the event ended at 1 a.m. But happy as the event went smoothly.

 These are the pictures that I managed to take. Not much....... :(

2:-

Need to wake up early this morning as the A-level students for my batch had a trip to FRIM! (Forest Research Institute of Malaysia). The fatigue from last night's event still hadn't gone yet, thus I slept the whole way to FRIM.

Upon reaching there, I praise to Allah a lot. That place is beautiful - no words can describe the beauty of nature that's preserved there. The lush greenery really made me calm.

And then we started with the activity. First activity was trekking on a trail in the forest - led by a guide. He stopped by at a few places to explain about the unique trees there and its unique characteristics. Then we went on to the treasure hunt. Going on the same trail again - but without a guide and we need to identify back the name of the trees that was related to the questions given to us. 

But the most excruciating thing that we did was going on the trail leading to the canopy walkway. We needed to climb a hill in order to reach the canopy walkway, walking through the trail in the forest for 1 km equivalent to 30 minutes. My legs almost failed me. But I kept on going and Subhanallah - the view was amazing! It really worth the 30 minutes excruciating pain in my leg muscles to witness that view.

Thus right now, I am extremely tired from the trip. hiking the trail to the canopy walkway really drained the strength in me. But all in all, I was glad to be presented by the beauty of nature from Allah. :)

Sincerely,

Fatin Nizam

Tarantula Tree..

Yesterday at approximately 3.00 p.m. the Dynamic Youth Club of my college had hosted a 'Tree Invention' event in conjunction with Green Campaign and Caring Month. Thus, the almighty 13.7 had gathered far and wide in Dewan Tun Hussein Onn (seriously 'far and wide'. we used up most of the center space in the hall) to construct this magnificent tree - eventhough it fell quite far from my expectations. Nonetheless it looked like a tree.. =)

Le Tarantula Tree s.p

Thus we have invented a new species of tree - Tarantula Tree. =)

Okay. It may look disastrous - which might be just it - but what I appreciate the most is the teamwork played by each of my classmates in this activity. Everyone lend a helping hand and everyone came down to make the tree. This shows that we have a strong bond of unity. TESL are Awesome! ( I am never denying that) Eventhough the tree didn't work out well, but we had fun. We shared yet another wonderful moment together in our short two years in Kolej MARA Seremban - and more wonderful moment are soon to follow. I do appreciate all the hardwork from all the members of 13.7. Only Allah can bless you guys.

Me LOVE 13.7!!

Sincerely
Nurfatin A. Nizam

Weekend!

When you think of Friday, you think of weekend! Thank god that I can have a break from this hectic week. (even just for 2 days) The most complicated thing to on my to do list for this week was preparation for English presentation. And the topic is not easy. World War 1. Not all people love history. Admit it. You must have slept once in a while in your history class. And that is one of the factors that my group and I needed to consider about when doing our presentation - engaging the audience to the information that is conveyed.

But Alhamdulilah, Praise to Allah that the presentation was done smoothly (almost). At least I can see from my classmate's faces that they listened to the presentation. I love 13.7! And this is the model of Mark 1 tank that was used in the war - the structure was made mostly by me and credits to Nurul for the paint job.

Model of the Mark 1 tank

One thing that I appreciate the most from the presentation session that Miss Nina was actually trying to give us ideas on how to engage our future students in the learning session. Thus, not only that we covered different scopes this week (geography, history, politics and.. err... I don't know which topic does shamans fall into place) but we had fun - and simultaneously improving our communication skills. :-) I do hope that wel all will be better teachers in the future - not only teaching what's in the syllabus, but also helps to create a better generation..

Sincerely
Nurfatin A. Nizam

PS: Don't just think about weekend when you think of Friday. Think of it as the head of all days in the week - a very noble day in deed..

Le voucher received

Finally. Praise to Allah I got my 1 Malaysia Book Voucher. So right now I am calculating in my head of what books to buy. And tomorrow is a holiday thus I might go out and buy a few books for me, my lil bro and sis.  Or I could just wait until the mid semester break to buy the books because technically the dateline for the usage of the vouchers are on 31st May. So there is still a lot of time to ponder about on what to buy with those vouchers.

It looks like today is one of those days where I am extremely happy. Why? First of all the Dining Hall served fried catfish for lunch.. (Yum.. Yum... My favourite) And then the voucher is given. So double the happiness!!!!

Sincerely

Nurfatin A. Nizam

Back in college

As the title stated.. I am now back in my college!!!!! (So back to reality Fatin.. there are loads of work to be done...)

But the trip to my grandmother's house was awesome! At least I can escape the reality of a student and be the sweet granddaughter. :-) My cousin was there too and I was very happy to see her.. (It has been quite a while since I saw her.. seriously.) And I got to spend time with my family after two weeks...!!! (heheh... eventhough it has just been two weeks after seeing them it seems like FOREVER!)

Well now since I am back in college, the reality of a student sinks back in. Before my family left, my mum reminded me "AS thn nih... Study!"

In Sha Allah mama. All of your reminders and advices stuck into my mind. I will always miss you my dearest family!!!! :-)

Sincerely
Nurfatin A. Nizam

Hometown sweet hometown!!

Yesterday my family promised to take me to my hometown in Batu Pahat, Johor! I was so psyched up since early in the morning that I packed up all my things since noon - eventhough I know that they would not arrive till evening. So while waiting.... This is what I did!

Milo + biscuits

I am the one who can be too lazy to even dip the biscuits in the milo drink so I just mix them both together in the mug until it becomes a huge mush. After I ate and perform my solat, my mum texted me stating that she will arrive on 6 o'clock. Being the enthusiastic me, I went down at 5.50 p.m. and waited. While I wait....

I played with Tomi the cat which was sleeping very lazily. Then my family came and then it began my journey to Batu Pahat! We arrived quite late - approximately 9.30 p.m. But all in all I praise Allah that our journey was safe and I got to meet my dear extended family.. \^_^/

Me is very happy today!!!!!!!

Sincerely
Nurfatin A. Nizam

Guess what I did today...

Ok. Truthfully told I never did this activity until today. I am quite shocked myself. Why did I decided to start on this activity? Mostly because I heard from my friends and the seniors that if u are underweight or obese, you cannot fly to Australia or NZ. (as for my case, it would be underweight of course) Thus I was reminiscing back the time when I was at National Service and wondered back - how did I gain my weight there and not at home eventhough I ate a lot (or roughly the same portion) as the time I did in National Service. And then I got the answer. The trick was exercise.

Honestly I don't quite know in detail why exercise helps me to gain weight. But seriously it does. And I do hope that I can get to that weight again. (my ideal weight) Plus when I was in National Service, I was physically fit - really. Because everyday exercise is compulsory (from 6.30 - 7.30 a.m.) I could run all the way round the lake in the camp without even stopping to catch my breath. (This is during one of the times when my company was punished by the coach) But now, I can't even pass the 5 minute mark without huffing and puffing. Thus this concludes that my stamina level went crashing down.

So what I did was I jog for some time and then I walk. Then I went back to jog again. I hope that this can help me boost my stamina - and help me gain my weight. (Even if it's not physically visible that I gained weight) Thus from now on, this lake will be the witness of me going out for a jog everyday (or almost)

Surreal isn't it? Well now that I realised my stamina level is very low, I feel guitly to Allah. Why? Because I neglect the responsibility that He had appointed to me to take care of this body that He had given. Maybe that is why I kept on catching cold almost everyday. Now that I noticed, during my time at National Service I hadn't catch a cold even once. Now this proves that I need to keep this up.

Sincerely

Nurfatin A. Nizam

PS: DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR STUDIES evethough you are working out. (??)

My statistics on doing Maths......

My statistics on doing Maths is... not good. My head is currently spinning round and round - tensed mostly because I can't get the answer. And me being me, when I can't get the answer for Maths, I felt like giving up. Even when I tried, I can't get the real answer. And after ten times trying and still couldn't get the answer - I willingly closed my book, put away all my stationaries and here I am! releasing my stress on my sweet sweet blog.

Why? I don't know what's wrong with my head that I cannot get the answers to some of the questions. Thus, before I could get a severe migrain, I know I must stop. -_-" (not a good habit to practice giving up)

Now, me feel like me must sleep. Goodnight!

Sincerely
Afukaha-chan

Usrah time!

Tonight I had a session with my usrah members. It was great - updating our knowledge about Islam - and turns out there are more that I don't know. I now feel very tiny compared to the world Allah had created and seems like my knowledge is just a small fragment of life and the universe itself. I can never know what other knowledge are still hidden from me.

So during my usrah session just now, we discussed the further meaning of Surah an-Nas. I made that surah my routine - which is to be read everyday. I know the meaning, but didn't actually understand what it meant. Thus that session was very much enlightening to me.

Thus from the session just now, Surah an-Nas is the surah that we recite when we want to protect ourselves from the soft whispers of Shaitan. (well all surahs can protect ourselves from the whispers of Shaitan but this is a special one) And in it also emphasized the word 'men' (humankind). This is to show that Allah really made us special - and for that specialty are we given the responsibility to govern the world. But still must remember that everything we do, we must seek refuge to Allah.

This in return really reflect back to us that we do not own anything in this world - even our soul. Allah holds the right for all that we possess now - EVERYTHING. Thus we must always remember - Allah had been so beneficient to us, thus why must we choose the path that lead us further than Him? Remember to always say Alhamdulillah for every thing you have in your life.

Sincerely
Afukaha-chan

Praise to Allah.. Lucky day!

Alhamdulillah praise to Allah today he give me a lot of His blessings. I really am felling lucky to be His servant in this world.

Why do I say that this is my lucky day?

Eventhough all the hardships that He had brought upon me (assignments, homeworks, typical student difficulties), but He never forget to give a little something to ease the burden a bit.

Okay so my story today. I went to Centre Point, Seremban with Nurul today - accompanying her to withdraw her money and I was in need to buy shoes rack for my room. Upon arriving at Centre Point, there are free Koko Crunch and milo!!! My lucky day. Two of my favourite snacks and drinks are being given away for free!

After like an hour at Centre Point then we walked back to college (Centre Point and my college is just a 5 minutes walk). And with Allah's blessing, He sent this lady who had willingly to send us to the front gate of the college. I was reluctant at first but upon seeing the sincerity in her eyes I can feel that she is sincere and me and Nurul just went in. So my 5 minutes walk has become a one minute drive!

May Allah bless the lady for helping us. I really am humbled by His blessings.

Sincerely
Afukaha-chan

Not so well -_-"

Today I am not feeling so well. Sneezing all day long. Maybe this is actually a result from yesterday, where I needed to walk in the rain in order to get to the hostel and then BAMM!! I didn't actually take a bath to avoid me from getting fever but slept instead. Major headache hits me when I woke up to go to Kaleidoscope meeting. (added with a little bit of leftover sleepiness) But well, still need to go to the meeting as I was the one who signed up for Kaleidoscope.

This condition reminds me of one of my teacher's advice when I was in MJSC PC. He said that whenever you get a fever or a cold, (like me who gets a cold almost every day) stand under the hot sun until all the bacteria came out of your system via the mucus that ran down your nose. I never tried that though, whether it works or not. Plus, today its still cloudy. I can't even see the sun - just the grey clouds that covered the blue sky.

But even if it's not cloudy, I still will not do it. :)

SIncerely
Afukaha-chan

Blog dear blog...

I have been neglecting my blog!!!! Oh my... So many incidents that happened for the past year. When I look back at my last post, it was in MAY!! This is so not cool.

Ok. A brief update on my life. Hmm.. Now I am in Kolej MARA Seremban - studying TESL. This is my second semester already after I registered here on 4th July 2012. The life here is awesome. Of course there are some bumps in the road, but mostly Praise to Allah that as long as I am here till now, my life has been sailing smooth. And this is the determining seemester - whereby I will be sitting for AS exams. The marks from this exam cost me half of the full marks to qualify me to fly to New Zealand. Oh I didn't tel you right. If I pass the exams here I will fly to New Zealand!! (If Allah Wills it.. And if my marks qualify)

So that is the brief update. There are not many things to share no though as I am not that stressed and there are no important events (yet) to be updated. I was reminded by this blog again when Adiba Abd Aziz said that she wanted to make her own blog. Then it hits me that I haven't updated my sweet sweet blog in a loooooooooong time. So Sorry. :)

Well that is all for now. In Sha Allah I will update later in my free time.

Sincerely
Nurfatin A. Nizam