Friday, 23 August 2013

Up and down, front to back

It has been a topsy turvy week. Nothing seemed right in the beginning but in the end it turned up to be quite well handled. Let me start from the beginning...

1. Farewell dear one..

Subconciously I packed all my things the morning before I will board my bus to Seremban. I hate the atmosphere that day. It seemed so cold, so silent. I had been wandering about the house without anything to do except watching television. It had always been like this whenever it's time for me to come back to Seremban. As I packed I pondered - all the things that had happened the previous week. When the news came, my happy mood seemed to had flushed down the toilet. I felt like I don't want to talk to anybody. But eventhough I made the mistake that I had done, my parents still care for my wellbeing. They made sure that I had enough things to be brought back to Seremban with me - food, clothing, money. I reasoned to my self again and again. What's done is done. Make sure that in the future, you can make them happy.

After the Maghrib prayer, I rechecked that I had packed everything and prepared myself for the bus trip to Seremban. As I looked into the mirror, I noticed the clothes that I was wearing and compared it to the ones that I had worn before when I need to come back to Seremban. Brown. My attire will always have a hint of brown. Is this my farewell gesture - to the loved ones that I will miss? Probably.

We talked little when waiting for the bus to take me to Seremban arrive. But the words that came out from my parents' mouths are precious pearls and gems - treasures that I need to keep that if I lost those treasures, I will be lost in the sea called life. I kept them in my heart - for the treasures are not ordinary treasures, they are given to me with love.

The bus arrived. I quickly salam and hugged my dad, my mum and my little sister. I held back my words that I had been constructing in my head - for if those words were said, my tears will fall. Before the bus departed I took my seat, inhaled deep breaths as tears fall slowly from my closed eyes. I dozed off as the bus drove off.

2. The weather is too, understanding.

It seemed like a normal class session. The teacher came in and we all greeted her then recited the doa. It was normal, until the teacher turned her back from us. I could see that she was wiping the tears the fell from her eyes. Tears started to well in my eyes. I felt down. Thoughts came into my mind - will she be okay? - she must be disappointed in us - what should we say? - what should we do? - what should I do?

The circle of friends - and teacher - was formed. It was silent for the first few minutes as all of us waited for the teacher to calm down. While in that moment, the well of tear in my eyes can no longer withstand - and tears came rolling down my cheeks one by one. Most of the girls could be seen holding a tissue - preparing themselves for the upcoming emotional breakdown. As for me, I was holding my handkerchief.

The teacher started to explain the situation - everything she said seemed to stab my heart - that made my small roll of tears became a stream. It got worse when she called out my name - I can sense in her voice a little disappointment, loss of hope. That made the stream turned into a waterfall.

Long story short, we all didn't know where and when we went wrong. As I said - the weather is too, understanding - as it was raining outside on that day - on that particular time.

I know that this is a long entry as it has been a while since I posted. Just wanted to share what I had gone through. In the end, my days were bright and sunny as I accepted that we can't be always looking at the past when the future awaits us. Just have the strongest faith in Allah and his plans for you - because he knows what is the best. Always line up your days with doa, and start it of with a good intention.

Fatin Nizam

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Eid Ul-Fitr 2013!

The time has come again! It's already Eid Ul-Fitr after 1 month of fasting. Though it is a merry sight to celebrate Eid, it is sad to leave Ramadan behind us, pondering whether or not we will meet again with this holy month next year. In Sha Allah.

There are some events that are quite saddening that had happened today. One of my cats - Ciko - had passed away this evening. He did not have the chance to see the fajr of Eid this year as the past years he had done. Other than that, hope he is now in heavens! :)

Another event that had happened is that the fish that my mother cooked for our break fast had been eaten by our mischevious cats! Well, the fish was not meant for us I suppose. Now they are lying around the house - belly full because of the fish that they had 'caught' from the kitchen table. T_T

Since tomorrow is Eid, I want to take this oppurtunity to wish to all muslims around the world Happy Eid Ul-Fitr, may this celebration is the best among all as we celebrate after one month of fasting. :)

Fatin Nizam

Sunday, 4 August 2013

Home Sweet Home :)

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, I safely arrived at my house yesterday for the Eid Holiday. Thank you Ya Allah for letting me have another chance to celebrate this Eid with my family - In Sha Allah. Without us noticing this, Ramadhan is almost over. Saddening isn't it? Reflecting back on this Ramadhan, I wondered if I have collected enough good deeds? Seems not like it. I might have not grabbed the ultra-special offer in this month. If i am given another chance, hope to see Ramadhan next year.

Compiling everything that I had done for the past few days, I went back to Johore! I know that I have told this in my previous entry but  noticed in the previous one, I didn't talk about my newest cousin, Aufa Irdina! Only two months old but she seemed to have wrapped everyone around her little fingers. She is too cute to be true! I managed to sneak some pictures of her.

The little sleeping beauty.....

A few days before this, the second year of my batch - girls only - held iftar jamie' at the futsal court. It is seriously memorable as we get to eat together. This seriously strengthens the bond between me and my classmates.

I think that this will be all for my entry today. Hope all of you have a good time with your family. :)

Fatin Nizam